Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
