My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
