i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
