i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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