That's intense
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
