so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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