I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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