no, he came in my armpit
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
