She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize