You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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