If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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