hotel room ftw
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
