I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
