four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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