Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
