There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
