Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
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