i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
