Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
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