I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
