The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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