Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
