Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
