i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
