i think i have two assholes
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
What happened to fro yo and sex?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
