Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
