hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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