yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
