I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
