Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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