I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
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