My sheets look like a crime scene.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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