Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
