Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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