Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
