Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
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