Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
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