do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
