I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
You need a sexual gate keeper
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
