Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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