C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
