Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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