Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
