does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
