escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
