p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
