Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
