The maid of honor just puked.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
