What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
