that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize