how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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