I want to make a zoo with you.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
