Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Randomize
