My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
