awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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