Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
