dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
