He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Randomize
