And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
the day after is always just damage control
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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