I wanna passion pit in your ass
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
vagina is talking i cant
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
