Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
