I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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