Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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