A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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