This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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