yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
